March 15, 2007
Grilled cheese and bacon sandwich
I love my friend TW. She’s a great gal. We have a lot in common and she’s very, very smart. She’s got an interesting webby-kinda job and also a couple of blogs. If I were to call her in the middle of the night because my computer crashed and I couldn’t get it back, she would grumble and then tell me what to do. She wouldn’t be happy about it, but she’d do it, I’m sure. That’s just the kind of friend she is. She can do no wrong.
HA! That’s what I thought until I saw a piece of blasphemy that she has cast out into the blogsphere. It’s out there now, probably spreading like a virus and doing infinite harm. I’m shattered to learn that the goddess has feet of clay. But, then, it’s kinda, sorta okay, too, because this time I get to come to HER rescue. You can be the judge of the enormity of her error. Go read her recipe for a Grilled Cheese and Bacon Sandwiches. You’ll like her place. It’s just the best cooking site in the blogsphere, chock full of all of those fifties and sixties recipes that Mom used to make. You know, back when they all wore dresses and frilly aprons and heels and pearls in the kitchen, just like June Cleaver? Goofy Jello concoctions and fruity things that were supposed to fool kids into trying new foods. Yeah, those recipes. They’re all at Retro-Food.Com, which you should bookmark because you will want to go back next time you want old-fashioned meatloaf or a carrot souffle. But don’t stay there right now. Just go look a the bacon and cheesy thing that is not a grilled cheese and bacon sandwich, then get back over here.
That’s not how you make grilled cheese & bacon! A grilled cheese and bacon sandwich is an uncomplicated thing. It does not have mustard on it. Mustard is for hot dogs or bologna sandwiches. The bread for this divine perfection of the sandwich world is not toasted, it is grilled, and there are two slices, not one. There is no such thing as an open-face grilled cheese and bacon sandwich! Sheeeeesh! Look at the name, fer cryin outloud! It’s grilled, not toasted and then pretend-grilled on a single, wimpy slice of bread. Here’s what you do:
Spread softened REAL butter on two slices of bread. Put the first slice, buttered side down, on a hot grill or into a hot fying pan. Cover with sliced or grated REAL chedder or jack cheese. Lay serveral slices of precooked REAL bacon across the cheese. Add another layer of cheese and top with the second slice of buttered bread, buttery side up. Cook on first side until cheese begins to melt and bread has browned. Turn it over carefully, because it’s not stuck together yet and you don’t want the goodies to fall out. I shove a spatula under mine and hold the top on with my fingers as I flip. Now allow the other side to cook until the cheese is all melted and the second side is brown. Voila! The perfect grilled cheese and bacon, especially if you used whole wheat or rye bread. If you want some pickle on the side that’s fine, but do not let that vinegary pickle juice get on the bread and make it all soggy. If you do that you have to throw it out and start all over. The final step is to call 911, because about two bites into this crusty creation your arteries will slam closed and you will try to die.
To make this delicacy in the office: small George Foreman Grill. Doesn’t take up much space at all and is perfect for cooking grilled sandwiches.
TW, I forgive you, sweetie. You made a mistake. I know that it will never happen again.
Technorati Tags: recipes, friends, humor
Posted by skeet @ 6:33 pm • Just stuff, Society & culture
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March 15th, 2007 at 8:01 pm, Whim Says:
I think I am just as disturbed by your suggestion to use rye bread as I was by hers to use mustard. Ok maybe not as disturbed, but close. Still, rye bread aside, you know how to make a grilled cheese and bacon sandwich. She needs serious help in this matter.
March 15th, 2007 at 8:54 pm, skeet Says:
I will allow any bread of your choice *if*you*do*not*mess*with*the*rest*of*the*recipe. Brown is better. Mine are always on whole wheat.
March 16th, 2007 at 4:06 am, Leigh Says:
I hate cheese *shutter*
I mentioned you on my blog, it fit.
(waves)
March 16th, 2007 at 4:08 am, Retrofood Says:
Wait! I plead innocence. I just was sharing the sometimes deluded Meta Given’s method. (which I may have rambled about but I got to thinking about grilled cheese, real grilled cheese and got distracted) Now, rye bread is ok occasionally for grilled cheese but Texas Toast truly makes the best normal grilled cheese.
March 16th, 2007 at 10:03 am, Allan Says:
Ahhh…you need three slices of bread, make a club (with ham, not turkey-and omit all vegetable material) , dip the triple decker in egg batter and drop it into a deep fryer until it floats-the Infamous Monte Crisco Club! Deadly as an assassin’s bullet but less tidy.
Nice new blog, BTW.
March 16th, 2007 at 6:13 pm, purple.elf Says:
skeet, i think i love you. lol
now, *technically* that is still not a grilled cheese sandwich. it’s sort of panfried…. next time you’re grilling something outside, on you know, an actual grill, put a buttered cheese sandwich on there. if you’re really daring (and this sounds crazy), you do this: add some nice sharp cheddar, a couple of thin slices of red onion, and nice ripe, thinly sliced tomato, and then some more cheese. the bread needs to be buttered on the outside. grill it slowly. ideally, you have a little top rack on your grill, maybe, more away from the heat? that does it nice and slowly while the rest of your stuff goes on the bottom. and it gets that nice flavour from being in the grill. mmmmmm.
March 16th, 2007 at 8:22 pm, skeet Says:
Allan - Pay attention, sweetie, you’ve gotten a little sidetracked. The post is not about “My Favorite Sandwich Which is Guaranteed to Induce a Heart Attack.” Focus, honey … focus! Bless your heart, your just heard “sandwich” and went into a trance, didnt’ you?
March 16th, 2007 at 8:32 pm, skeet Says:
My elvish friend, you too, are deluded. Must be the Canadian influence. There are two types of grills. Pay attention now, okay? The type you are referring to is most properly called a barbecue grill. That’s for steaks and weenies and burgers, k? The only people allowed to gill cheese over an open fire are named Heidi and Grandfather. They never had a grilled cheese and bacon sandwich, so I’m not sure how they managed to distract you in the creation of a masterpiece. The other sort of grill is the one we’re talking about here, k? The sort where you’ve got a nice stable surface (a pan or a gill surface) supporting the creation process so you can smash gently to achieve maximum bonding of the entire mass together. Got it?
March 16th, 2007 at 8:46 pm, skeet Says:
Oh, and what’s with the alien substances? Go back and read the instructions. Do you see tomatoes in there? No, you do not. Do you see onion, hm? Nope, no onions. Purity serves a higher purpose, sweetie, okay? Some things should not be fooled around with.
By the way, I learned to make this most heavenly concoction on a coffee shop grill while working my first job at the tender age of fifteen . that was several decades ago. Do not argue with experience!
March 16th, 2007 at 8:50 pm, skeet Says:
TW, you are a goddess. You are forgiven.
There is no such thing as normal grilled cheese, with or without bacon. There is grilled cheese and there are imposters. Do not mistake them again.
March 16th, 2007 at 11:42 pm, hyphen8 Says:
Wow. That sounds *so* good! Grilled cheese sandwiches (made just about like you said) & Campbell’s soup = comfort food from my childhood. Wonder why we never thought to put bacon in? Sounds like a great idea.
On the other hand, we also ate peanut butter (chunky) & spam (fried crispy) sandwiches (bread lightly toasted), so I’m not exactly a gourmet!
March 16th, 2007 at 11:56 pm, skeet Says:
Yum! Dunked in chicken noodle or tomato soup! The perfect comfort food.
Was the peanut butter to kill the taste of the spam?
Did you see my spam post? http://skeetsstuff.skeeterbess.com/2007/03/09/have-some-spam/
March 17th, 2007 at 2:29 am, Denise Says:
Heh, grilled cheese. Yum! But ummm skeeter, you do not EVER dunk a grilled cheese in anything. God, you are nutso.
March 17th, 2007 at 3:08 pm, Bethy Says:
No, No…..not whole wheat or Rye, and no bacon. It has to be white bread and I always put mustard on my grilled cheese sandwiches. Right after grilling, pull the bread apart, very gently so as not to tear the bread. Put yellow mustard on the melted cheese, that and a sprinkle of salt & pepper. Then put the bread back on the sandwich. YUM.
March 17th, 2007 at 4:12 pm, skeet Says:
Dunking it in Campbells soup makes the ultimate comfort food when you are sick. It should not be done at other times. See pickle juice comment above, also tomatoes, onions and mustard. It’s a purity thing, but you get to break the rules when you’re sick.
March 17th, 2007 at 4:13 pm, skeet Says:
Bethy, I’ll pray for you. We all will, you poor deluded soul. But smooches anyway! It’s about time you came to see the new place! :0)
March 18th, 2007 at 6:39 am, Tony Says:
I didn’t visiting today was going to cause my tummy to rumbly so much. I’ve gotta give this REAL grilled bacon cheese sandwich a shot as soon as possible. You sound like the perfect woman
March 18th, 2007 at 8:50 am, skeet Says:
Tony, I am. Props to you for recognizing perfection when you meet it.
April 1st, 2007 at 6:18 pm, Loretta Says:
Yum!
Foreman grill also good for making grilled PB&J
April 2nd, 2007 at 3:07 am, Jennifer Says:
I’m not sure what I like more… the entry, or your responses!! Brilliant! That said, I’ve never had bacon on my grilled cheese. I do have some precooked bacon in my fridge though so I may need to try it!! I put miracle whip on the inside instead of butter though. And I must confess, occasionally pickle slices.
April 2nd, 2007 at 5:44 am, Colleen Says:
Mmm…sounds delish. I feel my arteries hardening ! LOL
April 2nd, 2007 at 6:15 am, Amy Says:
This entry wins best thread ever! LOL! Love it!
So glad you set everyone straight, Skeet.
April 2nd, 2007 at 6:20 am, Lisa Renee Says:
Yes, that is the way to make a grilled cheese and bacon sandwich! Mustard? (shudders at the horror)
April 2nd, 2007 at 8:29 am, Lisa Says:
Ewww . . . on the mustard. But the bacon cheese sandwich sounds good.
April 2nd, 2007 at 9:17 am, Deb Says:
I saw it immediately! I went MUSTARD???? Give me soft butter anyday…i went through a phase of wanting grilled/fried onions on my grilled cheese sandwiches years ago.
April 2nd, 2007 at 10:35 am, Karen Says:
This thread is so funny! You think a war could be started over how to make a sandwich? LOL
April 2nd, 2007 at 12:35 pm, Jessie Says:
Grilled cheese and bacon sandwiches are one of my favs!
April 2nd, 2007 at 2:52 pm, skeet Says:
Hee hee! Full house again! Some of you, though, are still, sadly, wandering from the path. The ingredients are: cheese, bacon, bread and butter. Those of you who included alien substances: please go read the recipe again. If you want a cheese and something sandwich or you insist on mustard, pickles or onions, you are NOT making an authentic grilled cheese and bacon sandwich. That is some other concoction. You may call yours something else if you choose, but do not mistake it for the real deal. These subversion must cease.
April 2nd, 2007 at 2:55 pm, Sindy Says:
Whole wheat bread user here too!
Adding mayo or eggs is even yummier! LOL!
April 2nd, 2007 at 3:01 pm, skeet Says:
Siiiigh! Enough! Sindy, leave the planet! Immediately!
April 2nd, 2007 at 3:42 pm, Marisa Says:
That’s how we make them, too. Except my husband perfers Velveeta. But never mustard!
April 2nd, 2007 at 4:26 pm, mrscrumley Says:
We like grilled cheese here, with fake butter, white bread, and fake cheese. No mustard. It dunks great in tomato soup, but I like it plain too.
April 2nd, 2007 at 10:37 pm, skeet Says:
There is an obvious lack of appreciation for this pinnacle of excellence! I am bereft and overklempt. This piece de resistance is not intended to be a heart-healthy meal. It’s sole purpose is to usher you into an early grave with a taste of heaven lingering on your tastebuds.
April 4th, 2007 at 12:40 pm, The Fire Pit Says:
I absolutely LOVE grilled cheese sandwiches! It’s one of my faovrite foods of all time, and I’m not above ordering it off the kids menu in restaurants if that’s the only way to get it
I never thought of using my George Foreman grill, but will try it later this week.
April 15th, 2007 at 2:29 pm, Everyday Disasters » Carnival of Family Life #50 Says:
[…] the definitive word on grilled cheese and bacon sandwiches and the best 387 comments on the subject from skeet at skeet’s stuff. I can only imagine what […]
April 27th, 2007 at 1:19 am, skeet’s stuff » No surpises here! Says:
[…] my (in)famous grilled cheese and bacon post from last […]
August 7th, 2007 at 4:21 pm, Jaz Says:
Grilled cheese is just like Skeet says. Yum. No mustard. The bacon is a great idea. Just melt that cheese onto the bacon. Oh dear. It’s too late to get out the bacon and the cheese now. But, if I were to do that, I would use Cheddar!!! Oh yeah!
Thanks, Skeet, for bringing this to our attention!! (she wanders off into the other room saying…hmmm, haven’t had a grilled cheese in a long, long time. Maybe I could just get out the………muffled noises.)
August 7th, 2007 at 4:59 pm, skeet Says:
Hee! Glad you enjoyed it Jaz. Nothing wrong with a grilled cheese and bacon midnight snack, right?
August 18th, 2007 at 12:38 am, skeet’s stuff » Retro Food Says:
[…] She capitulated to my superiority in this one matter, was promptly forgiven and the rest is grilled cheese and bacon sandwich history. She’s behaving much more respectfully these days, so it’s okay for y’all […]
August 18th, 2007 at 1:06 pm, Nellie Says:
I have not had a grilled cheese in years, and never with bacon. Maybe one day soon and none of that other stuff that would ruin a good san’ich.
August 18th, 2007 at 2:40 pm, skeet Says:
Nellie, you should definitely put bacon on your next grilled cheese. Then you can come back and tell me how right I am, lol!:D
October 8th, 2007 at 2:06 pm, How Do You Make a Grilled Cheese? » Jenn Cooks » Blog Archive Says:
[…] few months ago, my friend Skeet made a post about Grilled Cheese and Bacon Sandwiches. Now, I don’t use bacon, but I was making a Grilled Cheese Sandwich for lunch yesterday, and […]
October 11th, 2007 at 1:08 pm, skeet’s stuff » Grilled cheese and bacon sandwich illustrated Says:
[…] confusion for my friends. A few months ago I explained about the purity and sanctity of a well-made grilled cheese and bacon sandwich. It’s a simple thing, really, just four rather ordinary ingredients which come together with a […]
October 19th, 2007 at 10:04 am, skeet’s stuff » The Great Grilled Cheese and Bacon Cookoff Says:
[…] a little controversy? It started back in March when I posted the instructions for making a proper Grilled Cheese and Bacon Sandwich. There were a few dissenting opinions (see the comment string) but I thought the issued had been […]
October 20th, 2007 at 10:11 am, Heather in Beautiful British Columbia Says:
Perfection!
This is exactly the way I make my grilled cheese but have never tried it with bacon. Yum, double cheese and bacon to boot. I’m drooling.
I love the directions for turning the hot grilled sandwich without losing the insides!