June 29, 2007
Grrrrrrr - neighbors!
The police were on my block again this morning. Sometimes it’s because of a burglary or to pick up someone with warrants. Today it was “the usual.” Domestic altercation. Did they get so loud that a neighbor called 911? I don’t know. I didn’t hear it. Was someone hurt, and someone else arrested? I don’t know that either. What I do know is that at least one of the parties involved was probably a drug user. Don’t get me wrong. There are plenty of normal families living decent lives in my neighborhood. More and more, though, there are households that are falling apart because of drug abuse. It’s heartbreaking, especially when there are children in the home. People with drug problems aren’t likely to seek out Marriage Counseling when their world starts to crumble. They don’t seek substance abuse counseling either, and it’s the children who pay the highest price. Daddy hits Mommy (or Mommy hits Daddy) in a drug-induced rage. The children watch, or maybe even get abused themselves, and the scars run deep.
I can tell the damaged kids when I see them on the street. They’re the ones who don’t smile and wave back when I’m driving down the road. They generally look down instead of meeting my eyes. There’s a brother and sister a little ways down the block who never play with the other neighborhood kids. They sit outside on their lanai or carport, watching others, never smiling, never playing. I think they’ve learned that being with other people = pain. I can’t even begin to imagine what it must be like to be a child living with such burdens.
I won’t be seeing the numbers on the police incident reports anymore. Since I resigned from the association board I don’t have to see them now. Is it terribly selfish of me to be glad that I don’t have to stare at those numbers in frustration anymore, feeling helpless and hopeless? It’s never done us any good to know how many burglaries, how many domestic violence calls and how many petty crimes were reported anyway. What are we supposed to do with the raw data? We sent out alerts advising people to install security lighting and be aware of strangers in the area. Maybe we should have included the afterthought: “And, oh, by the way - quit beating your wife and get some help.” I’m sure that would make things all better.
Don’t mind me. I’m frustrated.
Technorati Tags: domestic violence, drugs, neighborhoods
Posted by skeet @ 1:41 pm • Society & culture, Home & Family
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June 29th, 2007 at 2:42 pm, Emsxiety Says:
((((Skeet))))
June 29th, 2007 at 3:03 pm, Denise Says:
We’ve had some police issues around here too, and my mom also had one. Weird!
June 29th, 2007 at 3:33 pm, Venomous Kate Says:
Honey, I know you live Leeward and, although I lived Windward, I feel your discomfort. That’s what broke my heart in Hawaii: the domestic problems there are far too big for a BandAid and, although your experience may be different, where I was it was all attributable to the Ice problem.
It’s the keiki who suffer the most. The shame!
June 30th, 2007 at 6:13 pm, Marj Says:
My husband and I are both in recovery and it was pretty bad before then. It is too bad that people don’t wake up and see the light, but it took me quite a while. I thank God everyday for the life I have now.
June 30th, 2007 at 9:45 pm, skeet Says:
Mahalo, Em. Domestic violence is, unfortunately, much too much a part of life around here. Sometimes it gets under my skin. I’m better today!
June 30th, 2007 at 9:47 pm, skeet Says:
Well, D, I did see a full moon last night. I don’t want to believe that that affects behavior, but there seems to be a lot of evidence for it, doesn’t there?
June 30th, 2007 at 9:50 pm, skeet Says:
It’s almost always attributable to ice, Kate. The Waianae Coast has tremendous problems with substance abuse, ice in particular, moreso than the rest of Hawaii. It’s heartbreaking.
June 30th, 2007 at 9:52 pm, skeet Says:
Congratulations to you and your hubby, Marj! It took a lot of courage and strength for you both to get beyond addiction. Be proud!