July 23, 2007
Pimp my ride
I haven’t used an alarm clock in years. If I know that I have to be up before eight o’clock, I set up a wakeup call on my phone. I’m invariably awake before the phone rings at six. My natural body rhythm is pretty reliable about waking me each day between five and six, unless I’m sick or have been up very late. I like allowing the rising sun and the cooing doves to bring me gently into awareness that a new day has dawned. I really, really hate being jarred abruptly from sleep. This morning a rude neighbor subjected me to that with the horrendously loud stereo in his truck. He’s made a real nuscience of himself lately, and his extreme rudeness this morning got my creative juices flowing. I think I’d like to design a line of car and truck accessories with revenge against the idiots of the world in mind.
My first invention would be a boom-type stereo that only plays the sound of a dental drill, and comes with a directional sender. Every time I’m subjected to someone else’s blaring bass, rocking my car and making my teeth ache, I’d point my device at the offender, bombarding them with the worst sound known to humankind, at least fifty decibles louder than their own noise.
Next is a little toy I created in my mind long ago. I want pop-out signs installed on each side of my car. They would be equipped with proximity detectors and activate whenever appropriate, allowing me to keep my attention on driving. The first sign I want is one that says “Slower traffic keep right. This means you, doofus!” I swear I think about that sign every time I get stuck behind someone going thirty-five in the left lane on the freeway and see one of the regulation road signs that more politely delivers the same message (and is ignored by everyone who needs it the most.)
There are other ideas perking around in my head, but I think you get where I’m going. I don’t do road rage. I take my frustrations out in imaginary revenge instead. I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one to do so. I’d love to hear whatever ideas you’d like to contribute to my little driving accessories fantasy kit. Care to share?
[tags]car accessories, fantasies, rude drivers, rudeness, truck accessories[/tags]
Posted by skeet @ 4:39 pm • Just stuff, Society & culture
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July 24th, 2007 at 12:22 am, Fez Travel Says:
How about having your own slurpee machine in your car? I’ve seen one in a famous celebrity’s car. I think it’s cool.