August 9, 2007
One-upmanship
“I don’t say I’m no better than anybody else,
But I’ll be damned if I ain’t jist as good!”
Rodgers and Hammerstein from the musical “Oklahoma”
One of the real estate agents who uses my inspection services is not a very pleasant man. He gets under my skin and I know that most people who meet him have a reaction similar to mine. Smarmy is the first word that comes to mind in trying to describe him. He’s so busy promoting himself and talking about his latest accomplishments and acquisitions that he apparently doesn’t even realize that he fails to make any solid connection with the people he’s addressing. He recently made arrangements for me to meet him on site for an inspection. It’s in a fairly new development with every other street ending in a cul-de-sac, so he gave me specific directions for finding the property, ending with “… and then just look for my car. You know my car, don’t you?” I assured him that I did and we finalized our arrangements.
When I arrived at my destination I thought that my contact wasn’t there yet, because his little red covertible wasn’t there. Instead there was a brand new Cooper Mini convertible parked in the driveway of the vacant house. I was surprised to see the realtor walk out of the house as I was gathering up my equipment for the inspection and asked him if the car was his. He puffed out his chest and assured me that it was. I thought it strange that he didn’t mention that in our telephone conversation, considering that he was using his car to help me locate the house, but he’s an odd guy, so I just chalked it up to that. I admired the car & we discussed it for a few moments. I mentioned that Cooper Mini’s had become very popular in the last year or so since a dealership opened up on Oahu and that you can’t go anywhere without seeing them now. He got very red in the face and began to sputter. I was advised in a very condescending tone that the cars are now made by BMW, that they are very finely-crafted automobiles and that I was mistaken about their popularity because “not just anyone can afford to drive a BMW.”
Keeping up with the Jonses is a game as old as time. This guy is definitely a player. He’s bought, remodeled and sold several condos in the last few years and I’ve gotten used to his bragging about the top-of-the-line appliances he’s installed and the fine wood paneling he’s used for an accent wall. There would be no point in reminding him that I’m intimately familar with the construction of properties all over the island and that I know “average” when I see it. It’s hard not to laugh in his face sometimes. He’s so blinded by his own inflated opinion of himself that I’m sure he doesn’t realize how foolish he makes himself look. Does he think that saying that Cooper Minis are rare and expensive makes it so? He seems to think that I’m now convinced that I’ve actually seen very few of them and he’s much more important now that he owns one.
I had to call him that evening to clarify the spelling of his buyer’s name for my report (he’s got terrible handwiting and I almost always have to get him to decipher something on his inspection request forms.) It took a lot of restraint not to mention that I had parked between two Cooper Minis when I stopped for some shopping at Wal Mart on my way home that afternoon. While searching for a photo for this post I discovered something else that I won’t share with him. His Cooper Mini costs almost exactly what I paid for my Saturn four years ago.
Technorati Tags: automobiles, braggadocio, Cooper Mini, one-upmanship
Posted by skeet @ 9:12 am • Society & culture
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August 9th, 2007 at 11:21 am, Lee Says:
*snigger*
August 9th, 2007 at 1:08 pm, allysther Says:
Maybe he was smart enough to shop at the “special” car lot, where they inflate the cost to reflect your self appointed worth. He may have paid BMW prices for this vehicle and been happy to do so!
At least I can hope!
August 9th, 2007 at 2:32 pm, skeet Says:
Lee, I seriously have a hard time not laughing when I deal with this guy. He’s a client, so I don’t let on that I don’t respect him or even particularly like him. My only outlet is to come here and snicker a bit.
August 9th, 2007 at 2:40 pm, skeet Says:
LOL, Allysther! Exactly! Like the folks who only buy their pantyhose in the “better department stores” even though they can get the same ones for a fraction of the cost elsewhere. Extreme silliness!
August 9th, 2007 at 3:49 pm, Leigh Says:
Oh man, aren’t people like that simply hysterical? And maddening! LOL I don’t think I could’ve held my tongue about the 2 Cooper Minis at Wal-Mart. You’re a much better person than I, Skeet! lol
August 9th, 2007 at 4:07 pm, Fez Travel Says:
So love the cooper mini! The cost is unbelievable though.
August 9th, 2007 at 4:41 pm, Jackie Says:
LOL You should tell him!! If nothing else but to see his eyes bug out!
August 9th, 2007 at 8:25 pm, skeet Says:
I wanted to tell him about my WalMart experience, Leigh. I was holding it in so fiercely that my chest was hurting, lol! The guy is just such a jerk. The realtors on the other end of all of his deals can’t stand him either, so it’s not just my perception. Unfortunately, my small business can’t take the hit if I get a reputation for being “difficult,” even if it’s just the jerk saying it, so I have to suck it up and deal.
August 9th, 2007 at 8:27 pm, skeet Says:
They’re cute little cars, Fez, but “little” makes a difference to me. I like to believe that having more car around me will protect me more if I get hit. Probably not true, but I just don’t feel as safe in a tiny car.
August 9th, 2007 at 8:31 pm, skeet Says:
I was very tempted to tell him, Jackie. The good news is that he’s going to the mainland for six months & will probably be dividing his time between the mainland and Hawaii thereafter. I’ll only have to put up with him for six months of every year. I suspect that the entire real estate community on Oahu will rejoice when they find out, lol!
August 10th, 2007 at 2:24 am, Vanda Says:
Skeet, did you know that I’m the Jones that both my sils keep up with?
Gigggle, I got the first dishwasher, the first band new car, when we got our new furniture in February this year, both of them said they were looking to replace their only two year old suite. It’s just two funny for words. Can’t wait to see what happens now I just replaced the first dishwasher.
August 10th, 2007 at 5:14 am, Leigh Says:
LOL! My husband and I refer to the game as butting horns like rams and deer do to impress the females during mating season.