November 12, 2007
Ohana means family
I had a rough time with the holidays last year. I know that the “holiday blues” are fairly common, but this was a new experience for me, to feel absolutely, wretchedly miserable through the entire season. My son lives an ocean away and the rest of my family is even further out of reach. Last year at this time I was in pretty bad shape financially, so I didn’t have the fun of the frenzied holiday shopping season to help pull me out of the doldrums. I didn’t drag the decoration bins out of the shed, purchase a tree or do any of the hoiday baking that I’ve always enjoyed. Those were choices I made. Yes, clinical depession, financial woes and the distance that separates me from family all played their parts, but so did an attitude of embracing the misery. I’m through with that. This year I will embrace instead, the family that I have nearby.
Shortly after I moved to Hawaii I met J and her son D. We experienced a shared trauma that created an extraordinary bond between us and have been very close ever since. She is a sister to me in every way. She lives in my heart as I know I live in hers, and her son is a son to me as well. They are the family I’ve chosen. They do not replace those from whom I am separated by miles but are, instead, an added blessing. Their very presence in my daily routine enriches my life, and I know that they feel the same about me. J is a very private person and I have not blogged her stories, nor will I. I will only say that she is very dear to my heart and that she and her son are ohana.
I have other ohana here on Oahu. You’ve met some of them. They are the remarkable group of women known as the Table of Contents, the BookCrossing group that I blog about frequently. There is a magical quality to our group dynamic and it has given birth to an incredible bond. We revel in each others company. Our love of books and enthusiasm for BookCrossing brought us together, but we share so much more in common, including similar views about such diverse topics as politics, theatre and the ability of chocolate to make the world a better place. I consider them sisters, and the couple of men who have passed through the group are brothers to me. They are my ohana.
I’ll have a good holiday season this year. My son tried to get vacation time at Christmas and wasn’t successful, but we’ll share things long-distance with genuine joy. There will be gatherings with my local ohana - J and D and the Table of Contents. We’ll exchange silly gifts and gifts of the heart, laugh and hug and sneak bites from each others plates at our holiday feasts. They’re ohana. It’s allowed.
Image credit for both images: fotosearch.com
[tags]blessings, family, holidays, ohana[/tags]
Posted by skeet @ 12:09 am • Home & Family
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November 12th, 2007 at 6:55 am, Leigh Says:
I had good news so I had to go ahead and post. Please add it to your Thursday post this week!
http://eternal-flux.com/?p=65
Also, I want to invite you back to Tuesday Toast, I have included a theme now!
November 12th, 2007 at 1:53 pm, Bethchelle Says:
Postie Carnival For November 12- Family Edition….
This is my first time hosting the Postie Carnival and although only three people submitted posts, reading through each made me realize no matter where we may be physically our “families” are with us, in mind, body and spirit. The topic I c…
November 12th, 2007 at 2:26 pm, Lee Says:
What a wonderful gift it is, to be able to surround yourself with like-minded, warm and loving people.
I hope that you continue to be thus blessed!
November 12th, 2007 at 3:43 pm, suni Says:
this so great. i can say that you have been an added blessing to my life, one of my online “ohana” and i love you every day for being you!
November 12th, 2007 at 6:28 pm, Ann Says:
Beautiful sentiment. I have blood and marriage family nearby, but I still make time during the holidays for my friends that I consider family.
November 13th, 2007 at 1:08 am, skeet Says:
My friends bring a lot of joy to my life, Lee, and they really are ohana to me!
November 13th, 2007 at 1:09 am, skeet Says:
You’re such a sweetheart Suni, and a wonderful blessing in my extended ohana, too.
November 13th, 2007 at 1:10 am, skeet Says:
Isn’t it great, Ann, that we can continue to grow our familes well beyond the limits afforded by blood ties?
November 14th, 2007 at 2:39 am, blueyes Says:
It is a blessing to have friends that close to help ease the pangs of not having family around when you’d like to see them.