July 2, 2008
Adapting to change
It’s hard to believe it’s been almost six months since Buddy died. I still feel him here sometimes. Other times the ache of missing him is overwhelming. But it just doesn’t seem that long - more like a month or so, maybe. Logic tells me a different tale, though. Lance and I have moved on, adpoted new routines. Lance eats indoors now. He used to eat on the lanai because he and Buddy couldn’t eat near each other without trouble. He gets to play with toys now, too - another thing they would have fought over. And he’s finally decided that it’s okay for him to sleep on the mini-couch that was Buddy’s bed. At first he wouldn’t go near it. After a while he started sleeping on the back of it.
This week he’s sleeping all the way in the bed. I guess he’s finally decided that it’s “his” bed. I know that he would know Buddy if we had him back today, but I think the memory is fuzzy for Lance now. That’s good - he’s not moping around waiting for his pal anymore. He doesn’t lay with his face against the front door screen, watching and waiting. He’s a happy little guy, like he was when he had his pal to keep him company each day. It’s a different kind of happy, but it’s genuine and good.
[tags]adapting to loss, dogs, pets[/tags]
Posted by skeet @ 8:25 pm • Home & Family
RSS feed for comments on this post.
TrackBack URI
July 2nd, 2008 at 8:56 pm, Flo Says:
Oh, it is so sad watching a pet adjust to the death of another. When my Mana died the other two wouldn’t go near her bed. Of course, they got over it after about 2 weeks. It was a nice bed, let’s not get crazy
July 2nd, 2008 at 9:08 pm, skeet Says:
Lance was forlorn for several weeks after Buddy died, Flo. He’s frisk and wag his tail when I came home, then start looking behind me, outside, like he was looking for his pal to follow me in. That just lasted a few weeks, though. Actually, I’m surprised it’s taken him this long to sleep in the bed. It’s been washed, but I think it probably still has some Buddy-scent on it that Lance can detect. If so, it must feel warm and friendly for him now instead of sad, I think. Yeah, I’m anthropomorphic - so shoot me!
July 3rd, 2008 at 3:48 am, Jillybean Says:
First off, I LOVE that mini-couch! Second, I have 2 cats and a dog, the cats are brothers and were born in our house 8 years ago. All of my pets have been together for years and one of my cats is sick. He has already had one surgery and we know he can’t have it again and is more than likely going to die. I dread it for us humans for it will leave a HUGE hole in our hearts but I dread it more for the other cat and the dog. I know it will take a lot of time for them to overcome the loss. So Lance, we feel ya!
July 3rd, 2008 at 5:57 am, Jade Says:
Omgoodness that’s just too sweet that he slept on the back of the couch instead of taking over immediately!
July 3rd, 2008 at 7:51 am, skeet Says:
Aw, Jillybean - I’m sorry you’re facing that. I actually had two appointments to have Buddy put down last fall. Both times he rallied and I got to cancel the appointments. I had a hard knot in my stomach for months, though, knowing that it was coming. It’s good that your other pets have each other as well as their human companions - that will probably make it easier for them to accept whatever comes.
July 3rd, 2008 at 7:52 am, skeet Says:
Lance is a total goof-ball, Jade, but he always respected Buddy’s alpha nature, so I’m guessing that’s why he took so long to start ussig the bed.
July 3rd, 2008 at 10:39 am, Angie Says:
I’m glad Lance is finally adjusting, sweet thing. We lost our little girl 9/14/07 and it still hurts every day. You ache to have them beside you. Some days you laugh at remembered antics and others you cry for the companionship you’ve lost. (Oooh, tearing up now) But you always know they’re with you whether they visit you in a dream or you see a butterfly cross your path that lingers a little longer. They have their ways of letting you know they’re still with you.
July 3rd, 2008 at 3:02 pm, Gabrielle Says:
This is all so sweet. I once had a chicken that was friends with all of our farm dogs. She would sleep with them and play with them and we didn’t need to lock her up a night because the dogs would protect her. When she finally died all the dogs went into morning for months after.
July 3rd, 2008 at 3:51 pm, Emsxiety Says:
That just shows the capacity dogs have for emotions. My heart goes out to him and Im glad he’s adjusting. Sounds like Mom is too.
Hugs to you both.
July 3rd, 2008 at 4:45 pm, skeet Says:
I thinbk Buddy will always be with me, Angie. I still expect to walk into a room and see him, and am still sometimes surprised when I don’t. He’s still very much a part of our household, our family - just a part we can’t reach out and touch.
July 3rd, 2008 at 4:47 pm, skeet Says:
Lance is much more affectionate with me since we lost Buddy, Gabrielle. I guess the love we both had for Buddy is concentrated into a smaller sphere now.
July 3rd, 2008 at 4:47 pm, skeet Says:
Smooch! Mahalo, Em!
July 4th, 2008 at 12:35 pm, Karen Says:
Aw. How sweet and gracious of him not to move right in. They are very smart.